By Lainie Cohen
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Additional resources for Crooked Smile: One Family's Journey Toward Healing
On Wednesday morning, I attend a committee meeting with some of my colleagues from the psychology department. When 1 enter the meeting room, everyone looks relaxed and well rested from the summer vacation. A few people are milling around the coffee table, filling their cups and chatting; the rest are already seated at the table. "So how was your summer? " someone asks cheerily as I pour myself a cup of tea. My body stiffens and my face becomes masklike. Like a robot, I begin to tell Daniel's story.
He spent most of his time with his friends and not us, but we expected that and hoped for a healthy separation. Daniel defined himself by his athletic prowess, not by his academic pursuits, but he had visions of university, of moving on in 25 life, even though his goals were unclear. He prided himself on his mellowness, a "laid-back attitude" that we sometimes felt was a cover for rumbling uncertainty beneath. He showed little patience for reading unless the book was action-packed and fast moving, yet he could watch TV for hours.
He'll be okay. " How can I even visit Daniel if he senses my despair? I feel today that I have truly lost my son. 37 This page intentionally left blank C H A P T E R SIX I awaken early on saturday and head to the bathroom to ^J o pee and brush my teeth. The mirror reveals tousled hair and violet half-circles below my eyes. Taking off my glasses, I lean in for a. closer look. The whites of my eyes are streaked with red lines like a child's crayon scribbles. It's no wonder I look like this. My sleep is so restless.